I think this is one of those topics that most people really don't put much thought into. In my Process of Aging class yesterday we talked about sexuality and seniors. I found this class and the corresponding chapter in the text book really interesting. We started out by talking about how seniors and sex are portrayed in the media. We're all familiar with the "dirty old man" or the frigid old woman. Those are stereotypes that have stuck and really have an impact on how most of us look at the sexuality of older people, in fact, we most likely don't want to even think about an old person doing it.
In reality, sex or even just intimacy are very important during all phases of life and seniors are no different. Much of our society overvalues youth and undervalues advanced age to the point that most media commercials, ads, shows and movies portray how beautiful and sexy youth is and how you need to fight the aging process because it's really unattractive. Most people do not look at an older person and see the grace and beauty and confidence in them that most younger people have not found yet. We don't appreciate that the love and intimacy shared between seniors is something more than "cute". I think we tend to look at the act of sex as something you can only really enjoy when you're young.
As we deal with an aging society it is likely we will start having to face more of the issues related to seniors and sexuality. These issues face people who work in senior housing or assisted living facilities, but many of us have never thought about them. For example, what happens if one of your parents or grandparents has to move into an assisted living facility and takes up with another person on that unit. Is it anyone's business? What about if there is dementia involved and there's a spouse on the outside or a child on the outside? At what point is it ok to step in and make a senior follow our compass of what is acceptable behavior for someone of their age or someone in their mental state?
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This blog was really interesting, and you put things in a different perspective. I never really thought about older couples as more than, " cute". Personally, I think it's perfectly for older people to find love at that age, and no one should infringe this. It's also very true that old age is not valued in America. I have heard some close people in my life tell me that they are very happy beng 50 or 60 years old, and that its at this age where they feel the most complete. I think that the more that people value their age, and everything that they have been through, the more that age will be accepted.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to say that we all tend to think that as our older people continue to age, they loose their feelings. From a personal experience through interactions with the older generation as part of my work, I have had to encounter different episodes from these older people. One most important is their sexuality and intimacy. As they age, most of our older people still crave for intimacy and sex. Some of these older people may be suffering from diseases like Alzehmeirs and dementia which affect their thinking, but they might still be in need of intimacy and sex.
ReplyDeleteI would say let us be more considerate and think of aging as a blessing, especially the media.
I think Valerie brings up a very interesting point about how seniors are viewed in our society. Whilst we have some thoughts in our society that with age comes "wisdom", we don't respect our elders in any sense of the way we should. Seniors have a unique and useful knowledge that other don't possess.
ReplyDeleteUltimately, they are human beings and all human beings have sexual needs, regardless of age. These needs need to be figured into elderly care so that are treated in the correct that they deserve.
Our elderly health care system that is place now doesn't take into account and I'm sure that is somewhat demeaning for the elderly people who are still interested in their sexuality.
-Chris
Yes! indeed, the senior's sexuality can be more cute, and admirable than that of the youth who do not even know what real love is; leading to the many divorce cases in our society. In my tribe, it is believed that, when couples stay together for a long time, they 'look alike.' Sometimes, the resemblance can be in the facial look. However, it is mostly in their thoughts which can be the same,and at the same time due to the fact that they have lived to study each other.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, it looks painful when dementia sets in and they forget about each other. Sometimes, a spouse may even take another person as the partner.How Sad!