Mean Girls

Jocks, cheerleaders, plastics, these are just a few labels that are created among adolescents. These labels lead to the divisions among children, usually beginning in middle school and continuing through high school. This labeling and social separation results in bullying and altered self-esteem among those not considered to be a part of the “in crowd”. Bullying has become a major problem is schools across the US. It has been blamed for low self-esteem, fighting, serious injury and even suicide. I was contacted by a former school mate years after graduating high school, prompting my involvement in this growing problem. I received a message on facebook, from a girl that I had attended middle school and highschool with. When I saw the name, I vaguely remembered who this person was. The first mental picture was a very fair skinned girl, with blonde almost white hair, whom wore very unusual clothes and heavy black makeup to school. She often dyed her hair various bright colors throughout highschool. Why was this girl contacting me? I couldn’t remember a single encounter with her. As I began to read the email, I was very shocked. She had contacted me to express her hurt about the things that myself and other friends had said to her in school. Until this point, I never considered myself a bully; I tried to get along with everyone in school and made friends with people outside the “popular group”. As I continued to read, a very descriptive account of how she was out casted and not welcomed into our social circle because of her appearance. She had since cut and dyed her hair, had laser eye surgery, plastic surgery and completely changed her style of dress. I couldn’t believe how affected this girl had been by my non-verbal actions. I felt horrible that my actions negatively impacted this person. In a class of 300 kids, I am sure she was not the only person who felt that way, or was bullied by other children. Did other classmates not seek help as she did? Did they find outlets in drugs, alcohol or other negative ways? The fact that I was so oblivious to this person and her feelings, opened my eyes to this growing epidemic. Since this experience I have become a volunteer at a highschool to help counsel girls in dealing with bullying and building self-esteem. Our society has made this a public issue, schools have taken actions to punish those who do participate in this behavior. But we need to still do more. We need to start at the root. How do we educate our youth on the diversity of our culture? How do we demonstrate to children to appreciate the diversity of our culture? How do we create outlets for children, without embarrassment or shame? We have a long way to go in tackling this issue. We can start by controlling our actions and setting the example for our youth.