I remember as a teenager, my parents would talk to me about sex, getting pregnant and how I wasn’t ready for it. When I got married at the age of 18 their attitudes completely changed and there was a sudden need for them to have grandchildren immediately. Here I am, four years later and still without child, and my family makes it seem as if somehow I’ve been putting them through agonizing pain. Why is there so much pressure placed on young women to have children in their early 20’s? I understand that there’s a biological clock ticking away, but when I see a gossip magazines featuring another 40 year old actress that had just given birth, it makes me wonder why there is still so much pressure put on those who just aren’t ready yet.
Raising a child takes a lot of time, energy and money. It’s not surprising that the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reported 700,000 children being in foster care in 2009. Too many times do we hear of or see pregnant women who are struggling to pay for rent, smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, or can’t seem to make a relationship last for longer than a few weeks. Being ready doesn’t mean giving up on life, but raising a child takes a lot of hard work and discipline, so of course there should be many factors to consider. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the average cost of raising a child is close to a quarter of a million dollars up, until the age of 18. Most young women in their early 20’s are just starting to take on their own financial responsibilities and haven’t established a career at this point. Aside from financial stress, transitioning into adulthood can be stressful in itself and confusing. This should be the time to have fun, make mistakes and discover new things, including one’s true identity.
In my opinion, no woman should be rushed into such a huge commitment as having a child, until she feels she is financially, emotionally, and physically ready to have a child.
Your right no mother should be rushed but they shouldn't wait until their 40's either. When your hit your 40's pregnacy is very risky, not only for yourself but for your baby. The older you are the more the risks go up. Down snydrome, SIDS, and many other syndroms and disorders have higher risks the older you are. Also when your 40 your getting older and your backs starting to hurt, arthritis sometimes kicks in and your body is just trying to cope with getting older, a baby would highten your problems and only make them worse.
ReplyDeleteDon't let anyone else tell you when to have a baby. It is a lot of work. I wouldn't change it for the world, but it is not easy. Even with the support of a great family, the burden is yours to bear and no one should pressure you to make a decision that will change your life forever. Parents just want the cute baby to hold for a few hours. You are still young and have plenty of time. I remember at my wedding everyone was talking to me about babies. I told both our families to not even entertain the idea for a year and don't ask me, because it was never going to happen before that time. Babies are so cute, but it will be the hardest, yet most rewarding job you will ever have.....when you and your husband are ready.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how our parents, and society, try and push their kids into having grandchildren. My mom asks that question every time we talk on the phone. A child is an enormous responsibility that very few of us are actually ready for. Hell, most of us still aren't ready for children, even with a bun in the oven. Though there is a window, don't feel bad in waiting to have a child when you're ready... Or at least when you think you're most ready.
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